Better than you

Back to Mrs. Teacher:

I have had responses to Mrs. Teacher running through my mind off and on for almost a month. Some of the things that she said gave me insight into reactions that I've gotten from people who were not as outspoken as she. Some of the things she said fall into the category of nutty.

I'm not even going to worry about the nutty, like us taking up room in a good school district. But I am sure that she is not alone in some of her thoughts.

Do I homeschool because I believe that my children are smarter than other children? Anyone who knows us or who has read my account of our beginning this adventure knows that that isn't the case. We began homeschooling because of the difficulties that our oldest son was having. We continued because we liked it.

Homeschooling is wonderful for kids who don't fit the mold. Bethany would have continued to thrive in school, as she did from the beginning, because she fit the mold. She is a girl. She read early. She had no trouble sitting still. She is a visual learner. She is compliant and wants to make people happy.

Boys automatically have one strike. And Patrick had more than that. He didn't fit the mold.

We homeschool because we want to do what we believe is best for our children, and we can. I believe that God has given me the job of being the mother of these four people, and it is up to me to decide how best to accomplish it given our abilities and resources. For us, homeschooling is a big part of raising our children and doing this job.

Does that mean, as Mrs. T. opined, that we "judge" parents who choose public schools for their children? No. Some of my best friends have their kids in school. (grin) Are there some homeschoolers who do judge other parents? I have no doubt, since there are some homeschoolers who judge other homeschoolers for not doing it "right." I believe that each family needs to decide, based on all of the variables that exist in their family, what is best for their children.

First Greek, now Latin

I am not in charge around here.

That isn't, I suppose, completely true, but my kids have always had a tremendous amount of input into what they learn. When our pastor started offering Greek for homeschoolers the boys all jumped at the opportunity. They have taken to it with varying levels of commitment and success, but have all learned quite a bit.

Now they want me to teach them Latin.

Latin.

I've always thought--theoretically--that learning Latin would be a good idea, but none of them have expressed an interest before and I, being somewhat lazy, didn't ever encourage the idea.

But they want Latin, so Latin they shall have. Now I just have to figure out how.

Have you heard of an alarm clock?

Of all of the ridiculous things Mrs. Teacher said, I think my favorite was that my kids won't be able to function in college or career because they aren't accustomed to getting up for school.

There are just so many problems with this statement. First, the assumption that it is necessary to get up early to succeed in college or career. If someone chooses to live the life of a night owl, it can be accommodated. I have one friend who has always worked second shift because it suits her body clock. Throughout college she never had a class before 11:00 a.m.

This doesn't mean that I will encourage my boys to take this path, but it is possible. (I guess I don't need to worry about my daughter, who is already in college successfully attending early classes and getting up for work in the mornings this summer.)

Although my boys don't need to get up for school each morning, they do frequently have places that they need to be. My 14 year old was in a choir for the last nine months. To participate he had to be at a school over 20 minutes away two or three mornings a week at 7:30. He set his own alarm clock to get up and ready. This same son wakes himself up on Sunday mornings to acolyte at 8:00 a.m. church, even though the rest of us wait until 9:15 to arrive. (Except for the unlucky parent who drives him!) The other two boys also have their Sunday acolyting duties and they are never late. They also frequently need to be at church for extra services and funerals. They haven't slept through one yet!

I guess my point is that all of us, whether we go to school or not, are capable of waking up in the morning for those things that are important to us. One of my sons woke up at 6:30 for months when he was younger because there was a cartoon on that he particularly wanted to see. And although I currently let my sons get plenty of sleep and don't worry much about when they get up, I have no doubt that someday they'll do just fine, whether it's getting to college classes, getting to the office, or walking down the stairs to start the coffee before the walk into their home office.

Because, in our homeschool, I've taught them how to use alarm clocks.

More misconceptions

Before I start talking about the misconceptions about homeschooling that I posted about last time, I have to add some more that I ran into today.

I go, once a month or so, to a place where I can prepare a number of meals for the month very quickly and reasonably-priced, while leaving the mess behind. This morning as I was paying for my session the very nice lady who owns the store asked if I had kids home from school yet. When I told her that we homeschool she said, "Oh, I could never be that disciplined. We have a hard time getting the homework done."

Later, two other women came in and as we were all assembling our meals and chatting about our families, the owner mentioned to them that I homeschool. "I could never do that. You must be so organized, " said one. "There would be blood all over our house. You must be so patient," added the other.

Those of you who know me well can get up off the floor and stop laughing now.

I bet that if you asked my friends and family members to list the top ten traits that I have, disciplined, organized, and patient wouldn't even show up. Disorganized and impatient would probably be near the top.

And yet we survive. We actually thrive.

I wish these mothers, good mothers who volunteer at school, have their kids' friends over, and are trying to hold together the family dinner time against all of the pressures of life, could see what homeschooling can do for family life. Of course getting homework done is a battle. They've been at school all day. They rightly think that eight hours should be enough! One of the moms today said something about her son's attitude. We have seen wonderful changes in the attitudes of kids who come home. She might be amazed at how much better she likes him after six months at home.

It is the second day out of school and at 10:30 this morning one of these children who was at home vegging in front of the TV was calling her mom saying that she's bored. The mom is trying to plan events to fill the summer with activity--camps, lessons, classes--to get the kids "out of the house." I wanted to say, "Just live." Cook together. Clean together. Do some crafty projects. Go to the park. Lay on a blanket in the backyard and watch the clouds.

Then you might get a glimpse of what it can really be like to be a homeschool mom.

The offense of homeschooling

Over the next several postings, I want to address some of the doubts, questions, and misconceptions that others have about homeschooling. Before I do that however, I want to tell you about a conversation that I had last week.

I've been running into more negativity about homeschooling lately than I have in years. I've been trying to figure out why, and I think I may have been given a clue.

"I find that offensive." That's what Ms. Schoolteacher said to me after I told her that we homeschool.

I was going to ask why, but it wasn't necessary. She gave me an earful.

• How do I presume that I can teach my children better than trained professionals?
• Do I assume that my children are smarter than other children?
  
• How dare we judge parents who put their children in public school?
  
• My children are going to be an anti-social burden on society.
• It's not fair that homeschoolers can be in the spelling bee (!!!) because they can spend more time practicing.
• They won't be able to function in college or the work force because they won't be used to getting out of bed.

• If I'm going to homeschool I shouldn't take up space--and presumably shouldn't pay taxes--in a good school district.

Yep, I'm probably helping pay her salary.

There are so many false assumptions in what she said that addressing them will take a number of posts, but I just wonder: How prevalent is this kind of thinking?

Carnival of Homeschooling

The Carnival of Homeschooling is up at The Lilting House. I haven't joined it for ages, but I joined it this week because of my extreme desire for unity the the homeschooling ranks.

I know that there has been an issue with a post being censored because the host didn't like the rest of that blogger's blog. But it has also been agreed that that person will not host again. I have always been impressed with the diverse views in the carnival, and the only way to keep it that way is for a variety of people to submit.

I can understand why non-Christian homeschoolers often feel overwhelmed by the number of Christian homeschoolers. I can understand why there is animosity and frustration, because of both homeschooling history and continuing exclusion. But, in my opinion, withdrawing into your own walled enclave doesn't make any more sense to me than they do.

And, yes, I am a Christian and I am a homeschooler, but I have never been comfortable with the dominant element in Christian homeschooling circles, preferring instead the company of those who prefer mixed company.

Textbooks, teachers, and unschooling

Things have been really busy the past couple of months and the IndianaHomeschoolers list has taken most of the time and energy that I have for writing about homeschooling. Mostly it has been rather mundane hand holding and question answering for newish homeschoolers.

I enjoy it when subjects come up that I can really sink my teeth into. Unschooling is usually good for that. Today someone on the list said that unschooling was using real world learning and that unschoolers don't use textbooks.

I can quite confidently state that unschoolers--in fact lots of them--use textbooks. My unschooled-until-college daughter had textbooks for algebra and geometry because she felt that she needed to study them for college admission and a textbook is the simplest way to do that. We have loads of textbooks in our house. The big difference between us and more structured homeschoolers is that the textbooks are treated more as resources. They are here to use if someone wants them.

Every once in a while I find myself starting to doubt our unschooling. It will seem that the boys are just spending too much time being boys. These are the times that I will "suggest" that they work on some particular thing. It never fails that instead one of them blows me away with something that he is learning pursuing his own agenda. We're better off when I stay out of the way.

The other supposed unschooling no-no is teachers. We like teachers. We have used piano teachers, spanish teachers and voice teachers. The boys take Greek and our pastor is the teacher. Unschoolers can use teachers and still be unschoolers if they are pursuing something that the child wants to learn.

(I almost lost my unschooler cred when it comes to Greek. Our youngest wasn't too keen on it after he started. You see, it was hard. But I had told them all that if I bought them the books they were finishing the class. He chose to have me buy the book. So he was in. Now he likes it.)

And really, truly, I don't care if anyone thinks I'm an unschooler or not. I am sure that there are radical unschoolers who would call what I do by a different name. But there are also those school-in-a-box folks who find my way of doing things worrisome. So I'll just keep on doing what works for us, which is at least pretty darn close to unschooling.