Better than you

Back to Mrs. Teacher:

I have had responses to Mrs. Teacher running through my mind off and on for almost a month. Some of the things that she said gave me insight into reactions that I've gotten from people who were not as outspoken as she. Some of the things she said fall into the category of nutty.

I'm not even going to worry about the nutty, like us taking up room in a good school district. But I am sure that she is not alone in some of her thoughts.

Do I homeschool because I believe that my children are smarter than other children? Anyone who knows us or who has read my account of our beginning this adventure knows that that isn't the case. We began homeschooling because of the difficulties that our oldest son was having. We continued because we liked it.

Homeschooling is wonderful for kids who don't fit the mold. Bethany would have continued to thrive in school, as she did from the beginning, because she fit the mold. She is a girl. She read early. She had no trouble sitting still. She is a visual learner. She is compliant and wants to make people happy.

Boys automatically have one strike. And Patrick had more than that. He didn't fit the mold.

We homeschool because we want to do what we believe is best for our children, and we can. I believe that God has given me the job of being the mother of these four people, and it is up to me to decide how best to accomplish it given our abilities and resources. For us, homeschooling is a big part of raising our children and doing this job.

Does that mean, as Mrs. T. opined, that we "judge" parents who choose public schools for their children? No. Some of my best friends have their kids in school. (grin) Are there some homeschoolers who do judge other parents? I have no doubt, since there are some homeschoolers who judge other homeschoolers for not doing it "right." I believe that each family needs to decide, based on all of the variables that exist in their family, what is best for their children.

Have you heard of an alarm clock?

Of all of the ridiculous things Mrs. Teacher said, I think my favorite was that my kids won't be able to function in college or career because they aren't accustomed to getting up for school.

There are just so many problems with this statement. First, the assumption that it is necessary to get up early to succeed in college or career. If someone chooses to live the life of a night owl, it can be accommodated. I have one friend who has always worked second shift because it suits her body clock. Throughout college she never had a class before 11:00 a.m.

This doesn't mean that I will encourage my boys to take this path, but it is possible. (I guess I don't need to worry about my daughter, who is already in college successfully attending early classes and getting up for work in the mornings this summer.)

Although my boys don't need to get up for school each morning, they do frequently have places that they need to be. My 14 year old was in a choir for the last nine months. To participate he had to be at a school over 20 minutes away two or three mornings a week at 7:30. He set his own alarm clock to get up and ready. This same son wakes himself up on Sunday mornings to acolyte at 8:00 a.m. church, even though the rest of us wait until 9:15 to arrive. (Except for the unlucky parent who drives him!) The other two boys also have their Sunday acolyting duties and they are never late. They also frequently need to be at church for extra services and funerals. They haven't slept through one yet!

I guess my point is that all of us, whether we go to school or not, are capable of waking up in the morning for those things that are important to us. One of my sons woke up at 6:30 for months when he was younger because there was a cartoon on that he particularly wanted to see. And although I currently let my sons get plenty of sleep and don't worry much about when they get up, I have no doubt that someday they'll do just fine, whether it's getting to college classes, getting to the office, or walking down the stairs to start the coffee before the walk into their home office.

Because, in our homeschool, I've taught them how to use alarm clocks.

The offense of homeschooling

Over the next several postings, I want to address some of the doubts, questions, and misconceptions that others have about homeschooling. Before I do that however, I want to tell you about a conversation that I had last week.

I've been running into more negativity about homeschooling lately than I have in years. I've been trying to figure out why, and I think I may have been given a clue.

"I find that offensive." That's what Ms. Schoolteacher said to me after I told her that we homeschool.

I was going to ask why, but it wasn't necessary. She gave me an earful.

• How do I presume that I can teach my children better than trained professionals?
• Do I assume that my children are smarter than other children?
  
• How dare we judge parents who put their children in public school?
  
• My children are going to be an anti-social burden on society.
• It's not fair that homeschoolers can be in the spelling bee (!!!) because they can spend more time practicing.
• They won't be able to function in college or the work force because they won't be used to getting out of bed.

• If I'm going to homeschool I shouldn't take up space--and presumably shouldn't pay taxes--in a good school district.

Yep, I'm probably helping pay her salary.

There are so many false assumptions in what she said that addressing them will take a number of posts, but I just wonder: How prevalent is this kind of thinking?