Originally posted December 2005
Before I tell you this LONG story I need to give you a picture of my son in the present. Patrick is 15. He is a dream son. He is polite, respectful, smart, funny, helpful, and loving. He is very serious about his faith and loves acolyting at church. He is a voracious reader (currently reading Les Miserables) and loves politics, movies and sports.
I firmly believe that if he had stayed in school, things would be much different.
My daughter was finishing third grade and Patrick was finishing Kg when we began to consider homeschooling. We knew we were leaving the school that the kids were attending, and were looking at other options. Patrick had had a horrible experience in Kg, socially and academically. The happy, bright five-year-old that we had taken to school in September had become moody and withdrawn. He was teased because he sang too well, colored too badly, and couldn't match the sounds with the letters.
We knew that he was smart because of his intuitive grasp of numbers and his incredible vocabulary. But there was no denying that in a school system that decreed that all children would read by the end of first grade he would be in trouble.
I looked at options, and the one that just kept popping back up was homeschooling. I finally decided that I would homeschool him for a year or so, to get him "evened out." Surprise number one: Our daughter--straight-A student and social butterfly--wanted to be homeschooled, too. Since I wasn't thrilled with any of the school options we had, we pulled her out, too.
I've chronicled our bad start in my last post, so I won't repeat that. But that truly was just the beginning. Patrick was angry. He was mad at me for having taken him to school. And the more I heard what that year had been like for both of my kids the more I understood. So I embraced what was for me a brand new concept: We deschooled. We absolutely did nothing that looked like school for over six months. We, of course, kept living, and-- as I've learned--that's how we learn best, but there were no workbooks, math problems, spelling words, or drills. We read lots of books, played games, went to the park, watched videos, and went for lots of walks.
I spent a lot of that time reading about how kids learn. I was especially interested by the differences in boys and girls in learning to read. I went from a reluctant homeschooler to a mom who firmly believed that our education system does many kids--especially boys--a huge disservice by trying to force early reading.
(More to come....)
Showing posts with label Homeschooling for Beginners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Homeschooling for Beginners. Show all posts
Friday, November 10, 2006
Okay, they're home. Now what?!
Originally written Nov. 15, 2005
I am sure that I was not the only homeschool mom asking that question on the first "official" day of homeschooling. Even you parents who have homeschooled from the start have had the moment or moments where you are pulled up short by the realization that you have taken the responsibility for the education of your children into your own hands.
I was not completely unprepared when we began this journey 10 years ago. I had read lots of books. I had heard Raymond Moore on the radio. I had ordered hundreds of dollars worth of the curriculum most frequently recommended in the books and magazines that I had found. But the information was a lot more limited than it is now.
I didn't know any real life homeschoolers. I had never actually met anyone who homeschooled or anyone who knew anyone who homeschooled. I come from a family with lots of teachers. Several of my aunts are teachers and so was my mother-in-law. To say that I felt a lot of pressure would be a big understatement!
So I did what hundreds of thousands of parents have done. We started. We opened the books. We started with lesson one. And within a month I was sure that we'd made the biggest mistake ever!
Remember, I had chosen my curriculum based solely on what was recommended in the most books. I hadn't seen anything. We hated most of it. My daughter hated Saxon math. My son--who is very freaked out by clowns--had clowns all through his BJU Kg curriculum. As a history major I was totaly underwhelmed by the A Beka history book. And there was lots of theology spread throughout the books that was definitely not in line with what I was teaching my kids.
What to do? I had spent hundreds of dollars. I had to have a curriculum didn't I?
While I was struggling with this a miracle happened. : ) I connected to AOL. There was a homeschooling forum with hundreds of other homeschoolers from all over the country. It was like someone had switched on a bright light for me in the middle of a dark night.
I didn't have to use a set curriculum? My son needed to deschool? Unschooling?
Wait, there are other people who hate Saxon?! And Bob Jones! (BTW, this is where I learned about the rascism at BJU. These are the only homeschooling books I ever threw away instead of passing along.)
What I learned was that homeschooling is not a one-size-fits-all kind of endeavor. (Actually, I learned LOTS there, but that was just the most important at that point!) We decided to step back from what we were doing. We put the curriculum on the shelf. I asked my then-nine-year-old daughter what SHE would like to learn about. Boy did she have a list! My son--who was the reason we started homeschooling (that's another post)--was really struggling with wanting to learn anything at all. That struggle didn't magically end when we put those clowns in the trash. But we worked on it. I would like to say he came around quickly, but in truth it took years.
The answer to the "now what?" is that you begin to learn with them. It may go smoothly and within months they're learning Latin, churning butter, sewing their own matching clothes and flying through Saxon math. Or it may be rough. There might be tears. You might buy something that doesn't work. You might have a child who needs to be motivated to want to get out of bed or do anything but play Legos. You might want to pull out your hair. But you just keep going. Tweak what needs tweaking. Or maybe throw it all in a closet and start over.
You can do it.
I am sure that I was not the only homeschool mom asking that question on the first "official" day of homeschooling. Even you parents who have homeschooled from the start have had the moment or moments where you are pulled up short by the realization that you have taken the responsibility for the education of your children into your own hands.
I was not completely unprepared when we began this journey 10 years ago. I had read lots of books. I had heard Raymond Moore on the radio. I had ordered hundreds of dollars worth of the curriculum most frequently recommended in the books and magazines that I had found. But the information was a lot more limited than it is now.
I didn't know any real life homeschoolers. I had never actually met anyone who homeschooled or anyone who knew anyone who homeschooled. I come from a family with lots of teachers. Several of my aunts are teachers and so was my mother-in-law. To say that I felt a lot of pressure would be a big understatement!
So I did what hundreds of thousands of parents have done. We started. We opened the books. We started with lesson one. And within a month I was sure that we'd made the biggest mistake ever!
Remember, I had chosen my curriculum based solely on what was recommended in the most books. I hadn't seen anything. We hated most of it. My daughter hated Saxon math. My son--who is very freaked out by clowns--had clowns all through his BJU Kg curriculum. As a history major I was totaly underwhelmed by the A Beka history book. And there was lots of theology spread throughout the books that was definitely not in line with what I was teaching my kids.
What to do? I had spent hundreds of dollars. I had to have a curriculum didn't I?
While I was struggling with this a miracle happened. : ) I connected to AOL. There was a homeschooling forum with hundreds of other homeschoolers from all over the country. It was like someone had switched on a bright light for me in the middle of a dark night.
I didn't have to use a set curriculum? My son needed to deschool? Unschooling?
Wait, there are other people who hate Saxon?! And Bob Jones! (BTW, this is where I learned about the rascism at BJU. These are the only homeschooling books I ever threw away instead of passing along.)
What I learned was that homeschooling is not a one-size-fits-all kind of endeavor. (Actually, I learned LOTS there, but that was just the most important at that point!) We decided to step back from what we were doing. We put the curriculum on the shelf. I asked my then-nine-year-old daughter what SHE would like to learn about. Boy did she have a list! My son--who was the reason we started homeschooling (that's another post)--was really struggling with wanting to learn anything at all. That struggle didn't magically end when we put those clowns in the trash. But we worked on it. I would like to say he came around quickly, but in truth it took years.
The answer to the "now what?" is that you begin to learn with them. It may go smoothly and within months they're learning Latin, churning butter, sewing their own matching clothes and flying through Saxon math. Or it may be rough. There might be tears. You might buy something that doesn't work. You might have a child who needs to be motivated to want to get out of bed or do anything but play Legos. You might want to pull out your hair. But you just keep going. Tweak what needs tweaking. Or maybe throw it all in a closet and start over.
You can do it.
Where to start
Originally posted 10/10/2005:
We get tons of questions over at IHEN and the IndianaHomeschoolers list, and by far the most frequent question is, "How do I start homeschooling?"
Often people really want us to be able to point them to someone who can just tell them what to do. This is the beginning of the paradigm shift. When you are homeschooling, you need to learn to be comfortable with making decisions about your child/rens' education and with being in control.
So the first thing the amazing number of potential new homeschoolers we're hearing from need to do is breathe! We can almost hear some of them holding their breath as we read their emails. There is often fear of the unknown, state authorities,and failure.
In Indiana, if your child is in school all you need to do is write a letter saying that your child will be attending a private school. If your children have never attended school, you just keep doing what you're doing.
Many parents are afraid to pull kids out until they know exactly what they will be using and have purchased curriculum, but there is no need to wait. Children need some time to de-school when they first leave the classroom. And the longer they've been in school the longer they need!
When we began homeschooling ten years ago, we plunged right into a full curriculum right away. It was a big--and costly--mistake. My son, in particular, had had a very negative classroom experience and needed some down time. So we ended up taking the time to deschool later. (Actually, we ended up unschooling, but that's another entry!)
I also suggest people wait to purchase a bunch of books until they have spent some time at home. I spent hundreds of dollars on curriculum that we didn't end up using, because we discovered that it didn't fit our needs or style.
Spend some time reading good books and doing things that interest your child. Get a feel for what kind of homeschool you will have. Do you--and your chid--need fixed structures and timetables? Do you want to be able to delve into subjects in depth one or two at a time? Do you want to just take life as it comes and learn what shows up?
After you've figured it out you can get the books and supplies you need.
We get tons of questions over at IHEN and the IndianaHomeschoolers list, and by far the most frequent question is, "How do I start homeschooling?"
Often people really want us to be able to point them to someone who can just tell them what to do. This is the beginning of the paradigm shift. When you are homeschooling, you need to learn to be comfortable with making decisions about your child/rens' education and with being in control.
So the first thing the amazing number of potential new homeschoolers we're hearing from need to do is breathe! We can almost hear some of them holding their breath as we read their emails. There is often fear of the unknown, state authorities,and failure.
In Indiana, if your child is in school all you need to do is write a letter saying that your child will be attending a private school. If your children have never attended school, you just keep doing what you're doing.
Many parents are afraid to pull kids out until they know exactly what they will be using and have purchased curriculum, but there is no need to wait. Children need some time to de-school when they first leave the classroom. And the longer they've been in school the longer they need!
When we began homeschooling ten years ago, we plunged right into a full curriculum right away. It was a big--and costly--mistake. My son, in particular, had had a very negative classroom experience and needed some down time. So we ended up taking the time to deschool later. (Actually, we ended up unschooling, but that's another entry!)
I also suggest people wait to purchase a bunch of books until they have spent some time at home. I spent hundreds of dollars on curriculum that we didn't end up using, because we discovered that it didn't fit our needs or style.
Spend some time reading good books and doing things that interest your child. Get a feel for what kind of homeschool you will have. Do you--and your chid--need fixed structures and timetables? Do you want to be able to delve into subjects in depth one or two at a time? Do you want to just take life as it comes and learn what shows up?
After you've figured it out you can get the books and supplies you need.
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